In which I just can't shut up

I think I talked too much in the dietician's office. It was like some strange uncontrollable tide of prattle. I was pouring out everything - all the tedious stuff I usually save for you, dear reader.
Those details about whether foods go over the side or in the gob (OTS or ITG), the fact that one day he wants me to feed him, the next he'll insist on feeding himself (badly). His love-hate relationship with spoons.

I then veered off into how difficult it is to source oral syringes once the hospital ones give out on you. "I buy them off Amazon," I burbled inanely. "You can buy anything on Amazon except drugs and sex toys."

Poor woman. She must have thought I was mad.

Actually I think that, after the airy offhandedness of the surgeons her warm, reassuring demeanour just brought out the urge to over-share.

Towards the beginning of the appointment, before all this, she had asked me how I felt about LG's upcoming fundoplication.

"It has a high success rate," I parroted. "And the consultants say it will help his oesophageal motility. I know things can't go on the way they have been so this seems like a good option."

Then I paused and something came out that I hadn't shared before. "I want it to work, and I know on paper there's a high chance it will. But I can't shake the feeling there's something else going on too. I don't think this fundo will be the solution, I think it will just throw up more problems."

Once I said it, I realised that's what I'd been thinking all along. That we're about to put our son through an intense surgery that will change the way he eats, possibly for the rest of his life, and that it won't even begin to solve our problems.

I know we have to go ahead, that we can't keep pedalling along hoping his reflux will stop but what if I'm right?

I think that's what triggered the endless babbling. I was exploring, trying to figure out how I felt by going on and and on. I only hope I have a shred of credibility left with her!

But I did come away with one clear decision. We're back on the Milk Ladder. More of that next time...